From early childhood I was a very violent child only my body was very weak and I could not stand a chance against stronger others so even if I wanted I could not bully people.
The reason I was got into the fake bullcrap of activism, Science and Art was due to others being stronger and pushing me into a direction I never really wanted.
Really. I am a big bully in a tiny weak body that lacks the skill of fight.
If I was strong and tough I would already choose to beat the shit of others instead of trying to come up with clever ideas to solve problems with others. Actually. Most of my creative ideas were actually pretty lame and that is because I do not have a mentality of and artist or a good hearted person but basically of a very violent bully.
Only it was repressed toward the years because I did not had a chance to defent myself.
A critic in my youtube channel and and enemy of mine was right: I had to stand in a military barrier and engage violently with phalestianian passengers or another weak minority than posing with my piss poor art.
You see. All my life I was a big bully who was to weak in body to show it.
My life was a decieve. Now I know I had a true problem.
For years I had to fake mercy and good will and kindness while deep inside I always wanted to be mean to others. If I was a true smart-ass with a l33t hacking skills I would DDos the daily klik each time I would be banned but since I am a bully and not a hacker and weak in body I had to come up with crazy ideas how to deal with everyone.
If I was strong I would not make an ass of myself and could just find the others who tries to tease me and beat the crap out of them.
God probably made me so, that I am weak in body because he did not wanted many grandmas to have broken bones and maybe after I die hell would be a bit less hot for me. Because for real. I admit that I mostly like being violent and bully others though tough luck. I was too weak to fullfil that desire.